Chapter 6 - Painful Realities
"So, her translation is accurate?" Jack asked.
"Yes," Mei-Wan said, more reserved than ever in front of her husband. She had barely made eye contact with him during the last fifteen minutes they spent together in his ready room.
"Of course, I haven’t been able to confirm all of it yet, but with some more time and Susan's notes, I'm sure I'll confirm what I now suspect," Mei-Wan said.
"It's hard for me to imagine how a child would turn out being raised by Osmand," Jack said. "I'm having Starfleet check their records on Miss Dasari to see if there's anything else we can find out about her."
"Well, if there's nothing else, Captain…" Mei-Wan started.
Jack rose to his feet before she could go further. "Mei, please, don't go."
She took a deep breath and finally looked at him. "Why should I stay, Jack?"
"Because, I thought we loved each other," he said as he made his way around the desk.
"I don't know if that's enough any more," she whispered. "It wasn't enough for you more than a week ago."
He stared down at the smooth surface of his desk. He slowly traced a meaningless pattern out with his finger on the table he usually did his work on. "What else do we need?" Jack asked softly.
"How about understanding that it might take me time to sort out all my feelings about Kyle Hoffman," she replied, folding her arms across her chest.
"What's to figure out? The guy's a sorry excuse for starship commander," Jack blurted out with a scowl on his face.
Mei-Wan looked sternly at him. That was the last kind of response she expected to hear from Jack. "After all Kyle has been through, I'd have thought you'd be the one person to show him some understanding!" she said.
"I can't understand a CO who hasn't lifted a finger to notify the families of his crew about their deaths," Jack said with growing anger. "It's more than a requirement, it's a solemn duty!"
Jack walked around the desk toward her.
"Preston certified him fit, Mei. He's had plenty of time to take care of it. What the hell's he been doing for the last four days?" Jack asked, indignant.
Mei-Wan turned away. She found it hard to believe what Jack said about Kyle Hoffman. She knew he was a caring and sensitive person. She knew he wouldn't leave something as important as that undone. "That's not true! You're only saying that because you think it'll somehow bring me back to you!"
Jack's eyes narrowed. "I haven't lied to you, Mei. And I'm not about to start on account of that pathetic jack-ass!"
"You're better than this, Jack," she said, turning back to him. "At least I used to think so."
"Why are you defending him?" Jack asked, tilting his head to one side. "You've slept with him, haven't you?"
Mei-Wan's eyes burned at him. "You son of a bitch!" She tried to be angry, but was hurt more than anything else. Resignation consumed her. There was nothing left. The inhibitions keeping her from Hoffman evaporated in the flash of a moment. And she could tell Jack McCall knew it.
Mei-Wan turned and stormed out of the ready room.
***
She was still angry at Jack several hours later. Mei-Wan couldn't believe how petty and vindictive he had been about Kyle. She wondered if he really thought attacking Kyle, and accusing her of unfaithfulness would help their marriage.
What marriage? It's over.
She exited a turbolift and made her way down a corridor on Deck Twelve. She knew what was likely to happen if she continued, but she didn't care any longer. It's time I moved on.
She stopped.
Mei-Wan stood outside Kyle's door for a full minute, her hand just inches away from the control that would let him know someone was there. She held her breath. Once she touched the control there would be no going back--- her choice would be made.
Her finger hit the touchpad and the chime went off. A moment later the door opened and Kyle stood looking at her with a smile.
"Hello, Mei."
"Mind if I come in?" she asked.
His brow raised and he backed away to let her enter.
Mei-Wan took another breath and followed him. Maybe it's time I made a choice--- the one I've wanted for a long time, she thought.
"Sorry I haven't done much with the room yet," he said. "I can't get to my things on the Ravenscroft until tomorrow."
Mei-Wan looked about the nearly empty room and smiled. "It's fine."
Kyle nervously went to the replicator. "You want something to drink?"
"Sure. How about a glass of wine?" Mei-Wan asked.
Kyle grinned. "You prefer white wine, right?"
She smiled. "You remember that?"
"I remember a lot of things, Mei," he said as he turned to activate the device.
Mei-Wan closed her eyes a moment, then slowly unzipped the outer jacket of her uniform. By the time Kyle turned back around with two glasses of wine, she had it off.
He nearly dropped their drinks as she threw her jacket onto a couch and walked up to him.
He took a shallow breath and handed her one of the glasses.
She took a sip of her drink and let the cool liquid sit in her mouth a moment before she swallowed it.
Kyle drank nearly half of his glass down in one gulp, keeping his eyes on her the entire time.
Mei-Wan turned away from him and walked across the room toward the bed and set her glass down on a nearby table. Kyle followed slowly behind.
Still with her back to him, she grabbed the bottom of her green shirt and pulled it slowly up over her chest and then her shoulders and finally over her head. She tossed it onto the soft blankets covering the bed.
Kyle finished his drink and set his glass down next to hers. He ran his hand slowly over her delicate skin. He stopped and with two fingers gently lifted the left strap of her bra up and then down over the soft curve of her shoulder.
Mei-Wan's heart raced as his fingers moved from her bare left shoulder over to the strap of fabric on her right. It was too late to stop now. She would spend the night in Kyle's bed. She had wanted this for so long. Her choice was made.
His fingers removed the strap on her right. He put his hands on her bare shoulders and gently rubbed her warm, silky skin.
He smiled. "This last week has been so insane," he whispered. "If I had known it would end with us here--- like this, I would have gladly invited every bit of it."
Mei-Wan felt his hands go down her back to the last strap holding her bra in place. She felt his fingers slowly lift it. Every breath became deeper than the last for her. She could hardly keep her knees from giving way.
What did he say? she thought as her mind rose out of the warm haze she was falling into.
"It's actually kind of romantic," he whispered as he leaned toward her neck, his hand still working to remove her bra. "If those attacks hadn't happened, we wouldn't be here right now. Think of it, all of those billions died for you and I to be together. LeAnn always said we were soulmates. Maybe in some way, her sacrifice made our destiny possible."
Just as the first hook of three came loose, Mei-Wan pulled away and spun around to face Kyle.
"What?!"
Kyle shook his head as if coming out of a trance. "What's wrong?"
"LeAnn's sacrifice, Kyle?!" Mei-Wan shouted. "She... died a horrible death!"
"Mei, I was just saying..." He grinned sheepishly. "All that matters is we're finally together as we were meant to be."
He stepped forward and tried to put his arms around her, but Mei-Wan put her hands up and pushed him back.
"Mei, we're soulmates. We've both waited a long time to make love. We deserve it."
She quickly pulled her bra straps back up onto her shoulders and reached across the bed and grabbed her shirt. "Kyle, what kind of a monster are you?!"
"Wait, Mei," he started.
"No!" she shouted as she pulled the shirt down onto her body. "Your entire crew... our friends died and all you care about is getting me in the sack?!"
He frowned. "Okay, we've been through a lot recently. Maybe I said things the wrong way. It's possible I've got a lot of repressed feelings about what I've been through."
"What you've been through?!" she screamed. "What about all those who lost their lives? I stood on a planet several days ago where there were dead bodies as far as I could see. What about them, Kyle?! What about LeAnn?!"
She made sure her shirt was on completely and pulled her hair out of the collar. Suddenly, she realized a mistake she had made.
"Oh my god," she said softly. "Jack was telling the truth."
Kyle looked at her and smirked at the mention of her husband's name. "About what?"
"You haven't sent any messages to the families of your crew, have you? You haven't notified LeAnn's family she's dead?"
"There are more important things in life than duty, Mei," he said with a smile, stepping closer to her. "You're the center of my universe now."
"LeAnn was my friend..." Mei-Wan's words faded as she fought back the memory of finding LeAnn Goodwin's dead body. She closed her eyes. "I thought you were someone I could care about. What the hell happened to you?"
Mei-Wan stormed past him back into the living area. She picked up her jacket and began to put it on.
"Mei-Wan, come on!" Kyle yelled as he followed her. "You know we belong together! Don't tell me you're going back to that psychotic, McCall!"
She zipped her jacket up and her eyes flared open. Her hand swung up and slapped Kyle hard in the face.
"Jack's a better man than you'll ever be. I watched him agonize for months over the loss of his crew from the Beaumont. You can't even mourn a day for yours!" she yelled at him.
Kyle's face formed into a smug grin. "If he's better than me then why did you come here? Why were you just a few minutes from having sex with me?"
"I can see now that was a mistake." Mei-Wan stopped and thought a moment. "For the last several months I've let the feelings I had for you six years ago consume me."
"That's called love, Mei."
"You don't know what the word means." She walked to the door and stopped. "But maybe I don't either."
She looked back at him over her shoulder. "And about us almost... as smart as I may be, as brilliant an archaeologist as everyone may think I am, I can still act like an incredible idiot."
Mei-Wan left him alone in his quarters staring at the door. She ran to the turbolift and nearly leaped inside. "Deck Twenty!" she shouted.
She stood silently as the compartment moved through the pressurized transport tube. Once it had traveled far enough, she called out to the controls again. "Pause."
The lift stopped between decks which is what she wanted.
Mei-Wan paced back and forth in the small compartment trying to frantically think through what just happened--- what she almost did.
She stopped and collapsed onto the floor and screamed as loud as she could. The rage that consumed her was directed inward, toward herself.
***
Jack McCall sat in his quarters reading the report he had rewritten for the fifth time. He leaned forward in the couch and set the PADD down on the table in front of him. The request from Admiral Simmons for more details about the events at Ninaz and Parsandra had kept him busy most of the evening allowing him to avoid asking the computer where his wife was. He was glad for that. He was afraid of what the answer would be.
Jack took a sip from his glass of scotch and hoped he'd been wrong about what he saw in Mei-Wan's eyes several hours earlier, but he knew he'd said the wrong thing and most likely pushed her away. What he was most afraid of was she'd spend the night with Hoffman, then feel guilty about it and ask his forgiveness, begging to come back to him. Jack didn't think he could give her absolution for that. The part of his heart that would forever belong to Mei-Wan hated him for his inability to forgive her.
The chime sounded indicating someone at the door. Jack set his glass down on the table. He really didn’t want to answer the electronic summons. It was likely further information on the attacks and he didn't have the stomach for more talk of death and destruction. He'd heard and seen too much of it lately.
The irritating noise sounded again. Jack debated how long he could stand to hear that bleating and decided all he had to do was open the door and tell whoever it was to go the hell away.
He stepped up to the entrance and touched a control. The door opened and he saw Mei-Wan, her cheeks red from far too much crying.
"Mei? You okay?" he asked, afraid his fears had come true.
She wiped her cheeks. "Can I come in?"
"I really am not in the mood to argue again."
She looked at him with pleading eyes. "Neither am I."
He thought a moment and then waved her in.
After the door closed she stopped and saw the bottle of scotch on the table.
"So, I've driven you to drink?"
"Mei, if you just came here to given me a hard time about my drinking, then go away."
"No. I didn't mean to criticize you, Jack," Mei-Wan said. She turned to him. "You have another glass?"
"I don't think now is the time for us to become drinking buddies."
"I just want to talk."
"I think we've done more than enough of that."
She looked directly at him. "We've talked, but we haven't communicated. We're really bad at doing that."
He shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the alcove and got a glass for her. He tossed it in the air and she barely caught it.
She held it out. "Mind pouring for me?"
Jack grabbed the bottle and filled her glass with the golden liquid.
Mei-Wan took a long drink and then a second later was coughing.
Jack frowned and sat her down on the couch. "If you're not used to it, go slow."
She nodded and continued coughing. Jack sat in a chair across from her and stared. He was surprised she wasn't somewhere else at this hour.
"It's late, Mei. Don't you have someone to be with?"
She took a breath. "I guess I deserve that."
Jack took a sip from his own glass. "You've got a right to be with whoever you want."
"And if that's you?" she asked softly.
He shook his head. "Oh, no. I'm not riding this damn roller coaster again. I'm…"
Mei-Wan forced her eyes shut just as the intercom chimed.
"Yes?" Jack asked.
P'rada K'jal's voice came over the speaker. "Captain, there's a subspace message from the starship Balthazar for you."
Jack turned to Mei-Wan. "That's Dad's ship."
"Put it through down here, Commander," he said.
"Aye, sir, standing by."
Jack turned to face the comm display in his quarters.
"You want me to go?" Mei-Wan asked.
"No, you can stay," he replied, wondering why he said it. They just seemed headed for another argument. "Activate comm."
The screen came to life with the image of Admiral Jeremiah McCall seated at the desk in his ready room aboard the Sovereign class starship from where he commanded the Third Fleet.
"I catch you at a bad time, Jack?"
"No."
"I need you to set a course to meet me."
Jack had wondered when all of Captain Gann's protests would make their way back to Simmons. But why did they have to send my dad out to get me?
"I was wondering when this would happen," Jack said.
"How could you know about this? I just talked to Fergus Simmons less than an hour ago?"
"I'm sorry, go ahead."
Jeremiah was silent for a couple of moments. "I need you to meet me at the coordinates I'm encoding in this message. My navigator tells me that if you go to warp nine point seven you can make it in about fifty-two hours."
"What's the rush?"
Jeremiah leaned forward and lowered his voice a bit. "Before I get to that... Jack, your performance at Cajma is being reviewed and frankly, you didn't exactly distinguish yourself. The only thing tempering Fergus' reaction about you not stopping Gann, is that he likes Gann so much in the first place. And Gann's glowing words about you have kept you from a full scale inquiry."
"Gann's glowing words about me?" Jack asked, hardly believing he heard his father correctly.
"Yes, Captain Gann, while suggesting you needed to be more direct with your opinions and more willing to put them into action, praised your quick thinking in taking the Chamberlain to Hel'yra."
Jack couldn’t believe it. After nearly a week of threatening him and his command staff with everything short of a firing squad, he actually praised Jack in his report back to Simmons. It must have been Wakernaggle's doing. Jack couldn't believe Gann would change his mind on his own.
"You don't say," Jack said with a wide grin. "That was kind of him."
"Well, even Simmons had to admit that you doing that is what has given us the little information we have about these attacks."
"You can be certain we wouldn't have gotten any of it if I'd stayed at Cajma."
"I agree, but realize Jack, despite that you're riding things pretty thinly. You don't have a lot of margin for error anymore, son. This Cajma thing will end up as a blotch on your service record. Combined with everything else, you aren't long for the center seat if you don't clean up your act."
"Are you speaking to me as my father or an admiral?" Jack asked as he set his jaw the way he had every time he and his father headed toward an argument.
"As both, Jack," his father continued over the comm channel. "Simmons so far is painting you in a good light back to Starfleet command, but it's no secret that Admiral Olanski wants you out."
The Chief of Starfleet Personnel was on Jack's list of least favorite people. She hadn't been allowed to be in on the decision that gave him the Chamberlain and he had heard that she was looking for any excuse she could find to take the ship away from him.
He let out his breath. "Okay. I have to watch it. I know that, Dad."
Jeremiah gave a quick nod to his son. "Now, as to your orders. Is Mei-Wan doing okay?"
Mei-Wan stepped next to Jack. "I'm fine, Jeremiah."
Jack's father smiled on the display.
"Mei, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you're being reassigned."
Mei-Wan and Jack turned to each other. Both of them went numb. After all that had happened between them and all that had been said, they didn't know how to react to this.
Jack returned back to his father's image. "Dad, no. I need Mei here. If we're going to figure out what's going on with the deaths on these worlds I need her expertise on the Ancient Progenitors and their machine on Hel'yra."
"I'm sorry, Jack. The orders are signed. Simmons feels the same way about her expertise and that's why both he and the Archaeology Council want her back on Kel-j'na. They want her in a place of safety where she can be in contact with other experts so they can figure out what this menace is and come up with some way of dealing with it," he said.
"This is a secure channel, Jack. You want to tell me where some of that information in your reports came from?" Jeremiah asked with a grin.
"If I told you that, you'd have to arrest me. If you didn't then you'd be putting yourself at risk."
"I know we needed that information, but do you really think this is the time to gamble with your career?"
"I think if it allows us protect the next world then my career is worth losing," Jack stated.
Jeremiah smiled. "All right, I'll not ask then. Just be careful, Jack. Don't sell your soul for this."
"I'll be careful."
Mei-Wan looked at Jeremiah's image on the display. "Should I be ready to leave as soon as you arrive?"
"I'm afraid so, Mei. I want to be headed back to Kel-j'na after only thirty minutes. As soon as I get you there the Third Fleet should be ready for me to bring them back out here searching for where those entities ran off to."
Jack looked in Mei-Wan's eyes for a moment. He had expected the same despair he felt, but all he saw was resignation.
"Well, I'll see you both in a couple of days and Mei, I'll get a chance to let you hear how Katherine's been chewing my ears off about 'when are those two going to have some children'."
Jack finally forced a grin and looked at the display. "Give Mom my love, Dad. We'll see you in a couple of days."
"You two go back to whatever it is you were doing before I interrupted," Jeremiah said with a grin. A moment later the screen was blank.
They both stood motionless, not knowing what to say or if they should bother trying to return to their earlier conversation.
Mei-Wan turned and walked toward the door.
"Mei, please," Jack said.
She slowly faced him again. "I owe you an apology, Jack," she said.
"No you don't," he replied.
She shook her head. "Yes I do. You were right about Kyle and his crew."
Jack took a step nearer to her. He wondered what had happened, then he remembered how she appeared when she came to his door a short time ago.
"He hasn't sent any messages to their families yet," Mei-Wan said. "I doubt he ever will unless he's ordered to."
She turned and left his quarters. Jack McCall took a step to go after her, then stopped. There wasn't any point in pretending things were okay between them. He felt he had finally lost her.
