Chapter 8 - Those Left Behind
Hank walked into Jack's ready room with a PADD. Jack expected a tirade of I told you so's and a good sized helping of "I know this Region" to come from Evans, but before that happened, he was going to have his say.
"I stand by my decision not to have Dasari's armor removed or let you interrogate her your way," Jack said, sitting stiffly in his chair.
Hank nodded slowly. "I kind of figured you'd say that."
Jack, a bit surprised with Hank's subdued response, didn't think that was the end of it.
"She managed to erase all information and scans we had on her," Hank said, with less emotion than Jack would have expected. "We're checking the tricorders, but I doubt she forgot about them."
"How about you?" Jack asked. "Your injuries?"
"Preston fixed me up," Hank said. "I'll heal."
Turning the PADD over and over in his hands, Hank said nothing more.
"I had good reasons for my decision," Jack said, breaking the silence.
"Just like Gann did for his," Hank said. "But that dead planet we're orbiting tells a different story."
"I may have disagreed with him, but Gann stood on principle," Jack blurted. "Do you even know what that means?"
"I know your wife, or at least what Akala thought was your wife, is lying on a slab down in engineering being dismantled right now," Hank told him. "Once again, principle's casualties tell a different story."
"We have no way of knowing if an interrogation of that girl would have prevented what… what happened to Mei," Jack finally got out.
"Exactly, we'll never know," Hank said.
Jack shook his head. "The bottom line is, two prisoners held in your security section escaped today, Mister Evans, and one of them was in the process of taking this ship to Nybiros--- to the G'voda."
Hank laughed. "So you're going to blame this on me?"
"I'm not blaming anyone."
"That's a load of crap," Hank retorted. "You blamed me for not finding Mei on Antenora, and now you're going to blame me for her death."
Jack bolted to his feet. "That's just about enough!"
"I don't need this shit!" Hank shot back.
Jack took a breath. "I was only going to order you to review security procedures to see if there might be a way to prevent similar occurrences in the future, Hank. I am not blaming you for this or for what happened to Mei."
"Right," Hank said, far from convinced.
Jack sat back in his chair. "I'd like a report, with your recommendations for changes, in the next three days if that's possible."
Hank twisted his mouth to prevent himself from lashing out again. "Is that all, Captain?"
"I'm not blaming you, Hank. Believe me, I'm not," Jack said in a sad tone.
Hank handed Jack the PADD.
"What's this?" Jack asked as he activated the device.
"My resignation from Starfleet."
"What?!" Jack demanded with wide eyes.
"It's clear I don't belong here anymore, especially after today."
"Hank, I told you that I don't blame you."
"Look Jack, we both know I'm not exactly on the same page as Starfleet's ideals," Hank said, trying to force a smile. "Besides, after that trip you and I took, I realized how much I miss my life... my real life."
"I wish you'd reconsider," Jack said with a pleading voice.
"No, my mind is made up," Hank told him. "But if you read that, you'll see it's not effective until the first of January, 2379."
Jack read quickly through the short document.
"That gives you five months to find a replacement for me," Hank said.
Setting the PADD down on his desk, Jack stood again. "Please, don't do this."
"It's already done," Hank said. "You've got your view of life and I've got mine, Jack. I'm not sacrificing mine for yours, or anyone else's, any longer."
Hank turned and walked down the stairs from the ready room, leaving Jack alone.
***
Two hours later, Jack was still alone, but now he sat in his quarters staring at a bottle of scotch with a filled glass next to it. He knew it was the last thing he should consider doing, but he really didn't care anymore.
I killed her, his mind accused like the wailing cries of one so deep in the pit of hell that escape wasn't even a passing thought.
He reached for the glass, but was stopped by the door chime.
I should have gone to the yacht, he told himself. At least there I could be left alone.
The chime sounded again.
"Enter," he said.
The door opened and Melissa Vargas walked in.
"What is it now?" Jack asked, exasperated.
But when he looked up he could tell this wasn't about ship's business. Melissa's eyes were red and weary.
"I'm sorry," she said feebly. "I'll come back another time."
She started for the door.
"Melissa," he said, standing. "Don't go."
She stopped and slowly turned back to him. "If you'd rather be alone, I can understand."
"I would rather be alone," he replied. "But I probably shouldn't be."
"I... I just wanted to talk, if that's okay," she said.
He nodded. "Sure. You want something to drink?"
"If it's strong," she told him as he walked toward a cabinet next to the replicator.
Pulling out another glass, he turned back to her. "Scotch be okay?"
"I guess so."
Jack poured a glass of the golden liquid and handed it to her. Melissa looked into it.
He moved back toward the couch, but stopped when he realized she was still standing.
"Before today, I could tell myself she was just missing," Melissa said, starting to weep. "I fooled myself into thinking we'd eventually find her. The two of you had been lost for a year in the prison camp, so I figured Mei..."
Jack slowly walked up to her. "I know," he said softly.
"But now..." Her tears flowed freely. She tried to fight them off, but couldn't. Instead she took a long drink from her glass.
She forced a smile and looked at him. "This is good."
He was less than a foot away from her now. "Melissa, I heard you telling me to stop today."
"I know you did what you had to," she said, her smile gone. "I wasn't really talking to you as much as I was the Universe. I wanted something or someone to stop it, so that..."
She downed another large drink.
"Akala still has doubts," Jack said, grasping for anything that would allowing him to deny what he felt was true.
"You and I know it was Mei somewhere inside that thing," Melissa said.
"Then I... I killed her," Jack said as he fought back his own tears.
"I'm sorry," she said drinking the last from her glass. "I should go."
Jack realized he didn't want that. "Please don't."
"I miss her," Melissa whispered.
She walked the last steps to him. He put his arms around her and held her tight.
"I do too," Jack said.
Jack pulled himself away from Melissa, his moment of emotion now submerged before it became uncontrollable. He walked over to the table and picked up his glass of scotch.
"You should probably go," he said, regretting it the second the words left his mouth.
"Don't push me away," Melissa sobbed. "I need someone I can talk to... you're the only one… the only one who knows how much she meant to me. And I know what she meant to you."
"Don't you understand?" Jack asked. "I killed her!"
"No, those mechanical bastards killed her," Melissa said softly. "You set her free."
He turned to her. She could understand. She wanted to understand.
Melissa stepped toward him. Her hand gently touched his cheek. "You set her free."
The warmth of her hand upon his face struck him with a clarity he hadn't believed possible. Jack McCall saw past all the pain in his life and knew he wanted something more.
The desire to experience more than the agony of the moment possessed them both, drawing them toward each other with a hunger for life neither had known for a very long time.
Their lips joined in a passion born of shared grief, but that didn't matter to either of them. They only knew the pain they wanted to forget.
Melissa looked into his eyes and saw him crying like she'd never seen a man cry before. She reached up and wiped away his tears, but they kept coming, just as her own did.
"Shhhh," she urged him.
"Jack... I'm here for you," she whispered. "Please don’t ask me to leave."
They kissed again as Jack pulled her uniform jacket off. A moment later she had his jacket and shirt off. She ran her hands over his chest and kissed him again.
Part of his mind screamed. Send her away! it urged him. But he knew he wouldn't, because the part of him that wanted to feel alive, needed her.
The machine which had spoken so much like his wife had told him, You're human... you have a choice.
He hadn't felt as if he'd had many choices lately, but finally, holding Melissa, he did.
In this place, at this time, Jack McCall realized something very human about himself, something he had resisted admitting for so much of his life.
He needed someone.
He needed someone to hold him and let him know he'd be able to get past the pain in his shattered heart to the next morning.
He needed to have someone be human with him.
None of that lingered long in Jack's mind. Letting go, he allowed himself to be consumed by the moment. He carried Melissa Vargas back to the bedroom. Less than a minute later, both had all their clothes off and were lost in passions as old as humanity itself.
But if he had thought just a little longer, he would have realized Melissa needed him just as much, if not more, to let her know the human part of her was still there.
For the rest of the evening, both Jack McCall and Melissa Vargas were more alive than either of them had been in a very long time.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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Dark Horizon Story and Characters Copyright ©2004 Michael Gray
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