Chapter 4 - Necessary Relationships
Lieutenant j.g. Natalie Fowler ran down the corridor of Deck Six, excited by the discovery she had just made, but very conscious the person she'd speak to in a few moments would interpret her mood in the most narcissistic of ways.
But she didn't care.
She had only received the promotion to lieutenant junior grade two months before and was determined to remove the "j.g." designation as quickly as she could. If that meant she had to work three times as hard as anyone else and play mind games with a certain science officer, it didn't bother her. Natalie Fowler had set herself the goal of leading the Archaeology Department aboard the Chamberlain by the end of the next year. She would do anything to achieve it.
Fowler ran through a set of doors into the living room of one of the larger officers' accommodations on the Chamberlain. She didn't stop for anything as she made her way to the bedroom at the back, removing parts of her uniform as she went.
She entered the sleeping area, where only a single lamp produced any light. Kyle Hoffman looked over the PADD he was reading from to see her enter the room just as her shirt came off.
"You seem happy about something," he said, returning to his reading.
Fowler peeled off the rest of her clothes and jumped into bed and under the blankets.
"Excited is more like it," she said, sliding up next to him.
He turned to her "I like the sound of that," he said with a smile.
"Guess what I just translated?" she asked while removing the PADD from his hands.
"A newly discovered copy of the Kama Sutra?" He rolled on his side to face her and placed a hand on her bare shoulder.
"No," Fowler said with a sigh. "You remember that G'voda text Mei-Wan found in the records on Hel'yra?"
"Yes," Kyle asked cautiously, his mood dampened a bit.
"I just finished translating it and you won't believe what's in it."
Kyle forced a smile and fell back on his pillow. "Okay, what?"
"There's a part that reads: Your masters, the Ladeo are gone. We have stopped their rampage of destruction. Now, you shall face your own just end at the hands of the Vedala."
Hoffman frowned. "The Vedala are a myth," he said, closing his eyes.
"Well evidently not if they were running around at the same time as the Ancient Progenitors," Fowler insisted.
"You sure you translated that correctly?" he asked.
Fowler rolled away from him. "I figured you'd be excited about this, Kyle."
He slid toward her. "It's interesting, but too many careers have been ruined by people trying to chase after evidence of the Vedala, Natalie. I knew a guy I went to the Academy with, he spent his whole..."
She sighed heavily. "I'd like to take this to the captain."
"That wouldn't be a good idea," Kyle said. "You don't want to have Starfleet expend time and energy on this and then have it be nothing."
"But if it has something to do with the G'voda..."
"Okay," Kyle finally relented. "Get all your materials together and I'll mention it to him in the morning. That way, you won't risk harming your career."
She rolled over toward him again. Something about what he suggested didn't feel right to her, but Natalie didn't want anything to ruin the plans for advancement she had.
"I'll have them ready before I leave for the lab tomorrow," she said. "Are you sure about this?" she finally asked. "I'd really like to be the one to tell him."
"Trust me, Natalie. This will work out."
She smiled and kissed him.
***
"You translated this?" Jack asked, more than a little suspicious.
"I am an archaeologist," Kyle Hoffman said, standing across from his captain.
"I remember, Mr. Hoffman," Jack said as he read the translation off a PADD. He set the device down and stood from the chair behind the desk in his ready room. "Have you shown this to anyone else?"
"Lieutenant Fowler has seen it," Kyle said, becoming a little nervous.
Jack touched his comm badge. "Lieutenant Fowler, could you please come to my ready room?"
Kyle's eyes widened with panic.
"Yes sir, right away," came Natalie Fowler's voice over the comm system.
"Uh, Captain," Kyle stammered. "Is there some reason you're having, uh, Natalie come up here right now?"
His eyes narrowing, Jack walked up to Hoffman. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Hoffman?"
"Wrong?" Kyle said with as much of a casual attitude as he could fake. "No, nothing's wrong. I just wondered why Lieutenant Fowler needs to..."
The doors to the ready room opened and Natalie Fowler quickly bounded up the stairs.
"Thank you for coming up here so quickly," Jack said, looking at the chronometer on his desk. "I have an appointment in ten minutes I have to keep, so I'll make this fast."
Fowler stood beaming a few feet away from Hoffman.
"Is this about the translation, sir?" she asked.
Hoffman's eyes bulged as he tried to figure out a way to get her to be quiet without making McCall more suspicious.
"Yes it is," Jack said. "Commander Hoffman said he had shown it to you."
Natalie looked down a moment. Then as the implication of Jack's words sunk in, she turned to frown at Kyle.
"You both need to understand," Jack said, too busy to spend time wondering what was going on between Hoffman and Fowler. "The Vedala are a subject which has been classified by order of Starfleet Command. Any further discoveries about them are not to be discussed with anyone other than me from this point forward."
Fowler let her growing anger rest a moment. "Does that mean the Vedala are real as the translation suggests?" she asked.
"At this point, you're better off not knowing, Lieutenant," Jack said.
"That's a little hard for a scientist to accept, sir," she told him.
Jack smiled. Her attitude reminded him of another archaeologist. "I understand. Believe me, I really do, but this issue is a lot larger than I am currently at liberty to discuss with either of you."
Kyle saw his opportunity to escape. "Certainly, Captain," he said. "Neither of us will discuss it with anyone else."
Jack nodded. "Very well then," he said. "Dismissed."
Jack watched the two of them leave his ready room. He turned to the window and looked out into the depths of space wondering why the Vedala hadn't been around to see him since he'd been on Antenora. They could make their current mission to attack Nybiros a much less riskier proposition.
"Captain McCall," came Akala Wilmarza's voice over the intercom.
"Yes, Counselor?" he asked.
"I just wanted to remind you of our appointment at 0900."
"I haven't forgotten," he answered. "I was just about to leave."
***
Kyle Hoffman did his best to get to the turbolift and have the doors close before Natalie caught up to him. He hit the close door control several times, but the doors remained open.
"Damn it," he whispered. "What the hell is wrong with this thing?"
Fowler stepped into the car. "So, you showed me the translation?"
The doors finally closed and the turbolift began to move.
Kyle forced a smile onto his face, but it didn't hide the trapped animal look in his eyes. "I, uh, didn't want to get you into any trouble," he said. "And it's a good thing too. You saw the captain's reaction."
Natalie wasn't buying it. She stood with one hand on her hip, staring at Hoffman. "You pathetic little weasel."
"Natalie, come on," Kyle almost begged. "I was only thinking of you and your career."
"My god!" she blurted out, closing her eyes. "I can't believe how stupid I was to trust you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't even try to pretend you weren't stabbing me in the back, Kyle," she said. "You're nothing but a lying opportunist. I suppose that's how you got the Ravenscroft."
Kyle smiled. He didn't have to play the game any longer. "And what are you, Natalie?"
"I'm someone trying to advance my career, but not by passing off someone else's work as my own," she told him.
"Did either of us mention to McCall the preliminary work had been done by Mei-Wan?" Kyle asked stepping up to her. "Did either of us really think there was anything like love between us?"
Fowler's eyes narrowed. "Don't go there, Kyle."
"And why not?" he asked, grabbing her arm. "We were both getting something we wanted out of it. Just like McCall and Vargas are each getting something out of their situation."
Fowler watched him look up and down her body and for the first time realized how much she hated how his eyes devoured her.
The doors opened and Hoffman let go of her arm.
Natalie stepped into the doorway. "You won't be getting anything out of it anymore... Commander."
She walked out, leaving him to ride the turbolift alone.
***
"Why do you think you feel reluctant to let others know about your relationship with Melissa?" Akala asked Jack as they both sat in chairs across from each other in her office.
"I know some of the crew don't have a very high opinion of us being together," he answered.
"Really?" she asked. "I hadn't heard anyone bring it up." She smiled. "But does what the crew thinks have anything really to do with it?"
"I guess..." he paused a moment to chose his words. "I think a part of me feels guilty. It's as if I'm being unfaithful to Mei."
"But she's dead."
"I keep telling myself that, but it doesn't change how I feel," Jack replied.
Akala thought a moment. "Does Melissa feel guilty as well?"
Jack looked up at her. "Yes... she's told me she does."
Akala nodded. "At least the two of you have been able to talk about it."
"That's one thing I have learned this past year," Jack said. "I just wish I had learned the need for talking things out before..."
Akala knew he meant to finish it with, "… before Mei died." She wasn't naive enough to think he'd ever truly get over his wife's death, and she didn't think it would be a good thing if he did. Being alive involves going through the pain of loss, she thought, and she knew that pain would be a part of who he was for the rest of his life.
She was about to end their session when something crossed her mind.
"Do you think there might be another reason you and Melissa feel guilty?" she asked, leaning forward in her seat.
Jack thought for several seconds. "I'm not sure I follow you."
"You yourself have said you know you're not being unfaithful to your wife, yet you feel guilty about having a relationship with Melissa," Akala said, trying her best to let him discover on his own what she was getting at.
"Yeah," he said slowly, running all of it past his mind again.
"Well, if your and Melissa's guilt isn't about infidelity, then logically it must be about something else, don't you think?" Akala asked.
"Humans are rarely logical, Counselor," Jack snickered.
She raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps it doesn't always seem that way, but your species did raise itself from hunter-gatherer status to spaceflight in about ten thousand years," she said with a smile. "You must have some capacity for logical thinking to have accomplished that."
"Perhaps," he said. "But on a personal level..."
"On a personal level human beings have an incredible amount of their brains dedicated to participating in, and figuring out complex social relationships," she said. "In my experience, no matter how irrational human behavior appears, there is usually a very logical, if unseen reason behind what you do."
Jack leaned back in his chair and exhaled. He figured Akala wasn't trying to annoy him, but as usual, had a point she wanted him to realize on his own, and in his own way. Over the past nine months he had learned to trust her instinct in these situations.
But what is it? he asked himself. What else would Melissa and I have to feel guilty about?
They both sat in silence for more than two minutes before Jack leaned forward again. He was about to give up, when an idea whispered its way into his mind.
He smiled. "Because we're alive and she's dead?" he more asked than stated.
Akala fought back a grin. "Does that seem possible to you?"
Jack inhaled deeply. Several times he had begged the Universe to let him take Mei-Wan's place and to free her from her fate. He had never expected the Universe to grant his wish, but he had pleaded for it anyway.
"Yes," he responded. "I think it's possible--- very possible."
"Am I correct in assuming you and Melissa have spent more than a little time agonizing over this issue?"
Jack looked down and nodded finally. He looked back up at her and shook his head. "Pretty stupid I guess," he said.
"No," Akala told him. "You were both grieving. It's natural to feel guilt about being alive when someone you've cared about has died. The only mistake you made was to assume it was over something else--- in this case, perceived infidelity."
"I guess that makes sense," Jack told her.
"But do you understand what you both were getting out of that guilt?" she asked.
Jack looked away to a flowering plant on a shelf in Akala's office. "As long as we were still focused on Mei, we didn't have to accept that she was really gone," Jack said barely above a whisper.
"Because she wasn't gone in your minds," Akala said. "She was still someone you both had a relationship with, despite her being dead."
Jack looked back at Akala and smiled. "I guess this goes back to getting on with my life, doesn't it?"
"I think you already have the answer to that, or you wouldn't ask," Akala said with a smirk.
"You're right," Jack agreed.
"The problem I see is your relationship with Melissa is built upon this third person, a ghost, being there," Akala told him. "I wonder if the two of you going to be able to get beyond that."
***
Jack sat at the desk in his quarters, huddled over a comm display reading the mission plan for their attack on Nybiros. Occasionally he would stop to cross reference some important bit of information. He wore only a pair of old, worn out sweatpants with the logo of the Academy on the side of one leg.
"How many times are you going to read that?" Melissa asked, walking into the dark outer room, wearing a nightshirt buttoned only half way up.
"I need to study this some more," Jack said, keeping his gaze on the display.
"You need to come to bed, Captain," she insisted with a grin.
Jack smiled and turned to her. "Another hour."
Melissa rolled her eyes and walked up behind him. She ran her hands over his bare shoulders.
She frowned. "Your muscles are hard as a rock."
Jack slowly rolled his head back and forth. "I was going to ask Preston to give me something for it, but I got..."
"You got busy," Melissa finished for him as she continued kneading his shoulders. "You've been studying those plans for the last seven hours, Jack. I would have thought you'd have them memorized by now."
"Considering how bad a job I've done commanding this ship the last year or so, I'd say I've got plenty of reasons to put more effort into my duties," he told her, keeping his eyes on the display.
"You've been through a lot in that time," she said softly. "Give yourself a break."
Jack leaned back and closed his eyes as she continued working at his muscles. "I can't with this mission," he stated. "Besides, you and the rest of the crew have picked up my slack long enough as it is."
"We haven't done any such thing," she said. "You're one of the best captains I've ever served with."
Jack frowned at her. "If that were true, I wouldn't be commanding this ship."
"You and this ship will eventually prove yourselves," Melissa said with a quiet certainty.
"Maybe I should just quit fighting all of it," he said, exhaling. "Maybe Starbase duty would suit me better."
Melissa shook her head as she put more force into massaging his back. "You won't leave starship command. I know you, Jack."
"I think I could learn to enjoy a simpler life," he said. "One where I didn't have to balance lives against strategic needs."
Melissa put her hand on his face and gently turned his gaze to her. "Come to bed," she said softly.
"Melissa…" Jack stopped and stared at the display. Going over the details again wasn't likely to give him a new way to return some of the pain the G'voda had inflicted on him, nor would it convince him there was any substantial military goal to this mission. They were going to give the Federation Council a reason to feel they were doing something about the G'voda attacks--- nothing more and nothing less.
But that was still three weeks off.
"I guess this will still be waiting for me in the morning," Jack said as he stood.
Melissa smiled and put her arms around him. "That's a much better attitude."
Jack peered into the eyes of the beautiful woman he held. "Melissa," he began. "I wanted you to know that..."
"No," Melissa said, placing her fingers against his lips. "Please don't say it, Jack."
He gently moved her hand away from his mouth. "What did you think I was going to say?"
She laid her head against his bare chest. "The one thing I've wanted to hear more than any other, but the one thing neither of us feels right about."
Jack slid his hand up between her shoulder blades and pulled her closer. He could feel the warmth of her body against his own. "She's dead, Melissa. It's time to start living again."
Melissa Vargas turned her head to look up at Jack, her eyes filling with tears. "I don't know if I can do that."
Jack pressed his lips gently against hers. Melissa put her arms around his waist.
"Yes you can," he said with a smile. "I love you."
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her heart raced with a joy she hadn't expected. She had been afraid of so much when it came to Jack.
But the world didn't end, neither of them evaporated in a quantum mist, and the ghost of Mei-Wan didn't come back to curse them for what had grown within their hearts.
When she opened her eyes she saw him looking directly at her.
"I love you too," she whispered.
Jack picked her up in his arms. She wrapped herself around him, holding on as he carried her toward the bedroom.
Melissa felt the thumping of his heart as his chest pressed against her. Everything finally felt so right between them.
Jack leaned down and carefully placed her on the bed. He kissed her neck lightly while he unfastened the remaining buttons on her nightshirt. A moment later, Jack moved to the head of the bed and switched off the lights. Melissa crawled up to him.
She moaned softly as he ran his hands over her bare back. "I will always love you, Jack," Melissa whispered in his ear as her breathing became deeper. "Always."
***
Sipping a cup of tea, Cyrus Wakernaggle peered out the windows of his quarters aboard the Sovereign class starship, Venture. He watched the stars streaking past and the collection of vessels which kept pace with the one he resided in. His eyes focused on a large ship in the distance while his thoughts pondered her captain.
Jack McCall had endured more than his share of pain while serving in Starfleet, but Wakernaggle still felt the young captain could be put to good use. McCall had the exact qualities--- just enough uncertainty combined with a strong desire to succeed--- which made him perfectly suited for the ambassador's plans. It only required giving McCall certain opportunities to finish molding him into the kind of officer Wakernaggle had created so many times over the years--- the kind of officer who would follow his lead when the time was right.
Yet, there was something about Jack McCall which troubled the mind of Cyrus Wakernaggle. It was that brief moment of idealism he heard from the him during the meeting on Kel-j'na. He hadn't expected that from someone who had been a prisoner of war. It didn't fit the usual pattern of the people he groomed for greater things.
He took another sip of his tea as he continued to stare at the distant Chamberlain.
He hoped everything would change in three weeks when McCall got a chance to confront the enemy who had been responsible for his most recent agony. That would convince young Jack of the necessities of life, and more importantly the necessity of remaining close to a man like Wakernaggle.
Yes, he assured himself as he finished his tea. Jack McCall would one day see his relationship with me as the most important in his life.
