Chapter 9 - This Was Nearly Mine
"Assuming we can find a way to the past, we can either go back and get Jack, returning things to the way they were, or we can cut our losses and stay here to enjoy the lives we've got," Hank Evans answered Mei-Wan. "For me, if we decide to stay here, I'll probably resign from Starfleet. I was going to anyway. But you need to consider what you've got here, Mei. I can tell from the way he looks at you that Nakano does love you."
"I know," Mei-Wan said.
"It's hard enough to find happiness in this Universe as it is; don't be too quick to toss this away."
"But when I think of Jack back in 1874..."
"Look, Jack had a life back there. He made the choice to get involved in something he probably shouldn't have and it got him killed." Hank put his hand on her shoulder. "But that was his choice. You don't have to sacrifice the happiness you have here to fix his mistakes. Maybe we should let him rest in peace."
"Isn't that rather selfish on our part? Aren't you suggesting I should say 'the hell with him' and enjoy the life I have?"
Hank sat on the edge of the desk. "No. Think about the Galaxy in this timeline. The G'voda aren't here. The beings locked away on Hel'yra and Cajma appear to be still in their prisons. Billions died on Cajma and millions were dying at the hands of the G'voda in our timeline. Perhaps the Universe has done everyone a favor."
"And Jack?"
"Jack was fighting against all that death and destruction. I think he'd consider his death in the past a price worth paying to save those who haven't died in this version of events."
Mei-Wan closed her eyes. "You're right. He would think that way." She couldn't help but wonder what Jack's life had been like. Had he been happy in the nineteenth century? Had he found love? She knew she might never know, but Mei-Wan hoped the man she shared a last name with found some portion of joy to fill the days he had lived.
She was tempted to leave things as they were, to live the life that now stood before her. But the confusion which filled her mind wasn't so easily relieved. Something about this didn't feel right. Floating beneath what she knew and felt was a troubling feeling lurking in her consciousness.
She had a choice to make. And this time neither her curiosity, her ingenuity, nor her intelligence would figure a way out of it. No matter how she decided, she'd likely second guess herself for the rest of her life.
She was so happy here with Todd. She loved him.
But Jack McCall was in the wrong time. The timeline had been changed and she had to decide if it should be put back the way it was, or leave things as they were and enjoy the life she had.
The life you've stolen, a quiet part of her mind told her.
I didn't choose this. I'm here, I can't help that. No, she couldn't let any of that make her decision for her. She had to make it on her own. There would be no one else to blame.
"So what's it going to be, Mei?" Hank asked again.
"You're right about this being good for both of us and a lot of other people," she said. She could see Hank wanted to stay here, but she could also see he was afraid, though he'd likely never admit it.
He exhaled. "But you're thinking of Jack, aren't you?"
"I suppose I'll always love Jack, but no, this is bigger than Jack McCall. Someone or something has tampered with the timeline. Even if it's to your, my, or the rest of the Galaxy's benefit, it's wrong. We should be able to make our own decisions, Hank, not have someone alter the nature of reality, eliminating our free will." She stood. "I'm going to do all I can to put things back the way they were. If you'd like, you can come along."
Hank frowned. "Won't do me much good to stick around here if reality changes again."
"I suppose not." She knew the next step would be the hardest part. "Now we just have to figure out a way to get to Jack."
Hank debated something in his mind for several seconds, then exhaled slowly. He reached for a PADD on his desk and handed it to her. "I found this a couple of weeks ago."
She took the device and activated it. "What is it I'm looking for?"
"Enter the access code "Gladys" and look at the entry for 2372."
Mei-Wan watched as a series of reports flashed by on the screen. The display stopped on an entry concerning Temporal Distortion Field Scans. The Hank Evans of this world had been surveying a number of out of the way systems and come across one with a high frequency of temporal wavefronts. His later search for information on the system revealed the Federation agency known as Temporal Investigations had kept the system protected for more than a century.
"Is there some reason you didn't show me this before now?"
He raised an eyebrow. "I thought it would only get your hopes up unless we knew how to use it.
"Probably for the best." Mei-Wan gave him a curious grin before reading again from the PADD. "It's a time machine?"
"My counterpart here certainly thought so. There is additional information concerning Starfleet assets in the system and certain codes needed to go into orbit around the planet." Hank knew Mei-Wan would likely think he was only trying to discourage her, but this wasn't going to be easy and he wanted her to understand what they were getting themselves into. "My guess is they have authorization to use deadly force to prevent anyone from approaching the surface. We'll only get one shot at this and to be honest, I think we're going to need some fairly advanced technology to get to whatever kind of machine is on the surface."
"Someone told me you had a rather extensive collection of that kind of stuff hidden away somewhere," Mei-Wan said with a smile. "Didn't you use some of it searching for me?"
"The Hank Evans of this time has the same set up."
Mei-Wan handed him the PADD. "Then I say we leave for your asteroid as soon as we can."
"Mei, understand whoever Starfleet has protecting that planet won't be playing games. From their perspective we're going to change their history."
"We're changing things back to the way they were, Hank."
"You and I are the only ones who see it that way. For everyone else, this is how reality is supposed to be."
Mei-Wan nodded. So much of what they were doing was based on how they understood reality. The one thing that wasn't a matter of perspective was that Jack McCall, a man who according to this timeline's history had never been born, existed and died in 1874 on Earth. As long as she remembered that one fact, she knew she'd be able to believe they were doing the right thing. But explaining that belief to Todd Nakano wouldn't be quite so easy.
***
Todd looked at her, the silence between them feeling like the emptiness of space. Mei-Wan wished there was something in his face she could read, but there was nothing. He hadn't reacted with even as much as a blink of an eye. When he did finally say something his voice filled the previous vacuum of sound, shaking her determination.
"But what about me? What about everyone here? What will happen to us?"
"I... I really don't know." That was the truth. She had no idea what would happen to this timeline. "Since you have memories of what happened before New Years when this all started it may be you won't notice a thing."
"Or we may cease to exist."
"Or you may find yourselves living the lives you were meant to before time was changed," Mei-Wan answered back. She couldn't begin to imagine how hard this was for him. She knew he was driven by his love for Mei-Wan Lau.
"You're asking me to betray everything I am and everyone I've ever cared about."
"I'm asking you to stand by your duty as a Starfleet Officer. I've shown you the proof someone has altered time. Jack McCall, a starship captain, was sent back to the nineteenth century."
"I only have your and Evans' word for who he is."
She looked at him sternly. " I wish I could give you more proof, but I don't have any. You're just going to have to decide if you believe me."
Todd Nakano looked about the outer room of his quarters, then after a minute, turned back to her. "What is it you want me to do, Mei?" he asked with a grin.
A smile escaped from her. "Todd, all I need is for you to remain silent about who I am. I don't want you to risk yourself anymore than you have."
He stepped up to her. "Is that because you don't trust me enough to help out?"
"No," Mei-Wan whispered as he leaned toward her. "I think I trust you more than anyone I've ever known."
He drew her to him. "Is that all?"
"I love you."
Their lips met and Mei-Wan let herself forget for just a moment the tasks before her. She set aside thoughts of timelines, other selves, and trips to the past to allow herself a few seconds of the life and love she was about to turn away from forever.
***
Five minutes later, Mei-Wan made her way to a turbolift, but as the doors parted to let her enter, she stopped. Inside the car was the last person she wanted to see, but the one she wished she had a lifetime to get to know: Li-Na.
"Well, I am surprised you're leaving his quarters so quickly."
Mei-Wan stepped past her sister and entered the lift. "How did you know I was in Todd's quarters? I got security to restrict information about my location."
Li-Na gave her a narrow-eyed smile. "I am an engineer, Mei. Do you really think I can't get the computer to tell me what I want to know?" She looked down at something which caught her eye. Her smile vanished as she grabbed Mei-Wan's left hand.
"Hey, do you mind?" Mei-Wan blurted out as Li-Na examined the ring on her finger. She had meant to return it to Todd, but with everything else filling her thoughts the last few hours, returning a ring, even one signifying his love, wasn't high enough on her list of things to do.
"I can't believe it!" Li-Na shouted as the turbolift began to move. "You're engaged?!"
Mei-Wan pulled her hand back. "What goes on between Todd and I isn't any of your business."
"Don't do this, Mei. It will break Momma's heart!"
Mei-Wan took a breath as the lift stopped on her deck. "I have the right to live my own life as I see fit. Who I marry is my business. If our parents can't accept that, then there's something very wrong with them."
Rage filled Li-Na and her hand flew almost out of reflex to strike Mei-Wan. "How dare you say such a thing?!"
Mei-Wan touched her sore cheek. "Give me half a chance and I'll dare a lot of things, Li-Na." This wasn't how she wanted the last moments she had with her sister to be. There was so much she wished they could have talked about, but instead all they had was their disagreement.
Mei-Wan stepped out of the car, but before the doors closed she turned back to the angry woman still inside. "I'm so sorry it has to be like this between us, Li-Na, but please believe me, I do love you. I won't ever forget you."
The doors closed taking Li-Na away. Mei-Wan knew her last words wouldn't make any sense to her sister, but she wanted to say them. She needed to say goodbye to the sister she never had.
***
Cindy Zachary bounded up to Mei-Wan with her usual smile. "Hi, Mei. What you doing here this late?"
"I had something I wanted to give you." She handed the young girl a small box. "Since you were a member of the initial expedition to the site, I felt you deserved it."
Duncan Zachary walked in from the bedroom. "Hello, Mei. What..." He stopped as he noticed his daughter tearing the wrapping off a small package.
Cindy pulled a small black square from the box, her eyes wide with surprise.
"You are one of the few people in all the Galaxy to possess an authentic Ancient Progenitor artifact, Cindy. Cherish it, but while it can give you an insight into a group of beings long gone, always remember it also tells you that all things eventually pass away. So while studying the past, never make the mistake of living in it. You have a future ahead of you that shouldn't be passed up." Mei-Wan turned to Duncan. "Don't worry, I cleared it through both the Dalvani authorities and the Federation Archaeology Council. Cindy Zachary is listed officially as a caretaker of an artifact from an "unknown" civilization."
Duncan smiled. "Thank you, Mei."
"This is so great, Mei! Thank you!" Cindy nearly shouted, still captivated by the piece of material older than Earth's sun. "This is the greatest thing anyone has ever given me!"
Mei-Wan kneeled to be at the girl's eye level. "No, it's not, Cindy."
The child gave Mei-Wan a confused look.
"Your father has given you something far greater--- his love. Never make the mistake of thinking there's anything more important than that," Mei-Wan said. "You may never know how lucky you are to have him in your life like this."
Cindy turned to her father who only smiled. The girl then looked back at Mei-Wan. "I know," she said softly. "He's a great dad."
Mei-Wan nodded and stood to her feet. She headed for the door, but stopped one last time to look at Duncan Zachary. "You're lucky to have Cindy too. If she weren't in your life..." She stopped herself before she said more. This wasn't the man she had known. She was still at a loss as to how such love and warmth could become cold and twisted.
He smiled wider than Mei-Wan believed it ever possible for Zachary to do. "I know, Mei. I know."
No, you don't, she thought. But maybe it's better that way.
