"Acceptance"

written by

Michael Gray

Melissa smiled.

It was hard not to, watching the two men she loved most in the universe laugh together as if they'd known each other forever.

Everything was perfect now.

She and Jack had left the Delta Ophiuchus Shipyard two weeks ago. Given the near dismal chances the Chamberlain had to sail the stars again, they both felt the need to be somewhere else when the big girl's death sentence came down.

The plan had been to come to Yed Post IV and relax. Where they went from there would depend on events and the whims of their souls.

On the trip to Yed Post IV, she and Jack had had an opportunity to talk, really talk like they'd never had before, and Melissa finally understood why he'd been so content on his cattle ranch back in the nineteenth century.

Command of a starship had always appeared to her to be the pinnacle of power and success in the Federation world, but she saw now that Jack viewed it more as a prison for the man or woman in that center seat--- responsibilities beyond imagining and no real freedom for yourself.

The only mystery remaining in her mind was why Jack had come back to it when so many other choices stood before him. During their conversations, it became clear it was a mystery to him as well.

Even more confounding was with all the trouble it brought, why the other man at the table had never left command of a starship.

But then John Vargas never took the conventional path with anything.

"The Vander was a good ship," Jack said, raising his glass.

"With an even better crew," John replied.

Three glasses of wine touched. The tone from the contact lingered in the warm air of the outdoor restaurant where they dined.

"I'm glad you two missed serving together on that ship," Melissa said, causing both her dinner companions to raise an eyebrow.

"Why?" her father asked.

"Then Jack would have been your XO. I never could have gotten involved with him after that."

"And why not?" Jack asked. "You think your father would have corrupted me or something?"

"No, but I don't know if I could have dealt with the possibility of your loyalty to him overriding your loyalty to me."

"One rule I've learned is never get between a man and the woman he loves," John said. "Even if that woman happens to be your own daughter."

Melissa reached for Jack's hand. "So does that mean you approve?"

John grinned. "You certainly don't expect me to bad mouth another starship captain, do you?"

Melissa frowned.

"There is a certain decorum to be observed," Jack added.

"Great," Melissa said. "My fiancé meets my dad and they become instant pals."

"You'd prefer the opposite?" John asked with a wink to Jack.

"Some happy medium might be nice."

"She always been this dissatisfied with things?" Jack asked John.

"Ever since she was little," John replied. "Nothing was ever good enough for her. Impossible child."

"I think I need another drink."

Both men laughed. But it was cut short when their absent-eyed waiter returned.

"Captain McCall, there is a message for you at the front desk... from Starfleet."

"This may be it," Jack said, taking a deep breath. "Excuse me."

Melissa watched Jack go to the entrance of the restaurant. Her heart nearly broke at the worry she felt for him.

"I think you're handling this worse than he is," John said.

She tried to smile, but found it impossible. "He just doesn't show it as much."

"He knows what it's like to lose a ship. He'll do okay."

"This isn't just any ship, dad."

"I know sweetheart," John murmured. "It's the ship where you met him."

This time she did smile.

John reached for her hand. "I remember what it's like to be in love."

Melissa frowned. "You'd find someone again if you'd realize the problem wasn't you."

"That's in the past, Melissa."

"Not if it keeps you from living in the present."

He looked down at his empty plate, lost in thoughts Melissa figured it best not to intrude upon.

Finally after nearly minute he looked up at her with a pain in his eyes she would have never expected.

"What is it?" she asked, her hand tightening around his.

"The main reason I came out here to see you... well, aside from getting a chance to meet Jack..."

She waited until he was ready.

"I received word three weeks ago from Vulcan. Your mother has died."

Part of Melissa Vargas wanted to cry, another part wanted to cheer. But mostly...

"I don't give a damn."

She regretted it the moment she saw the impact on her father.

"I'm sorry. I know you loved her once, but it's hard for me to care about the woman."

"Yeah," John said, looking back the direction Jack went. "There's more."

"What I inherit the family estate on Vulcan or something?" Melissa said with a cynical chuckle.

"No... a responsibility."

"I don't owe that cold-hearted bitch a goddamn thing." Melissa had held her tongue far too long when it came to how she felt about her mother. Her father would have to deal with it now.

"She wasn't always that way," John said, his jaw tightening. He took a long drink of his whisky. "We were in love once... you weren't conceived in some moment of madness on her part."

"It seemed she thought so."

John relaxed just a bit. "You'd be surprised how easy it is for Vulcans to reframe things when it comes to their own behavior."

"That only makes it worse," Melissa nearly screamed. "I'll never understand how a woman walks out on the man she loves... and her own daughter." She pulled her hand back from her father's grasp. "And for what? To go back to a planet of soulless..."

"That's not fair."

"How can you defend her after what she did to both of us?!"

"People make mistakes, Melissa. Even when they think they're being logical." He smiled a moment. "Maybe most often when they think they're being logical."

"This wasn't just a mistake, Dad. It was... my life. And she told me exactly what that was worth to her." Melissa's anger rose more than she'd expected. Though not all of it was directed at her mother, but also herself. She felt the tears running down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry over this. She wanted to be angry.

John Vargas remained silent.

"I'll not mourn her."

"That's not what I'm here to ask of you. At least not in the way you think."

Melissa wiped the dampness from her cheeks. "I have no respect to pay her, Dad."

"I..." He took a breath to compose himself. "You know a little about the Vulcan concept of katra, don't you?"

"Bullshit from a group of emotionally stunted people who cling to an ancient belief to give meaning to their otherwise empty lives."

John Vargas swallowed whatever anger appeared near surfacing. "The Keeper of your mother's katra is here on this planet, at the Vulcan embassy."

"I'm not participating in some idiotic ritual!"

"No ritual. It was your mother's last wish that the Keeper attempt to contact you so the two of you might have a last chance to speak."

"She should have thought of that before she died."

"I was told she tried to contact you a few months ago."

Melissa was about to shout a reply when she remembered the conversation with Chamberlain's new Tactical Officer, T'Nel. "Okay, so she did. But I didn't see the point."

"People change when they know the end is near, Melissa."

"I have no interest in giving her any absolution for entry into some afterlife existence." Melissa could feel the tears coming again, but couldn't figure out why. "It's all crap anyway. They just copy their mental patterns. The Vulcans of all people in the galaxy have no soul to continue on."

"Melissa..."

"I can't believe after all she did to both of us, that you're even bringing this up!"

"This isn't for her. I'm telling you for your sake."

"I have nothing to say to her!"

John Vargas leaned forward. "We both know that isn't true."

Melissa was about to scream, but instead stood from her chair. "Maybe there are some things I need to say to her, and to every Vulcan in that embassy."

"Now wait a minute..."

"No, you want me to go over there, I'll go!"

She turned to leave just as Jack walked back to their table.

"What's going on?" he asked. "You okay?"

"I'll never be okay! But today someone is going to know why!"

***

Melissa burst through the door of the Vulcan embassy, and marched into the ornate lobby.

"Come out and face me, you bitch!"

Two guards standing ten feet away looked at each other, then back to her, but did not move.

"May I help you?" asked a Vulcan male who stepped into the lobby.

"I'm here to meet my mother."

"The Keeper has been expecting you. Follow me, please."

"No," Melissa said. "She can meet me right here. Otherwise, I'll leave."

A side door opened, and out walked another Vulcan male, wearing ceremonial robes. He was older than the first, his hair frosted with gray.

"You may leave us, Stalok."

The other nodded, and he and the guards left the lobby.

"Who the hell are you?" Melissa asked.

"I am Sokaris. Your mother was my wife."

Melissa never knew her mother had remarried. "You... I came here to meet some Keeper person who supposedly..."

"I am the Keeper of T'Lil's katra."

"Then I can talk to her?" Melissa asked, her anger returning.

"It would be better if we were to mind meld." He raised a hand toward her.

Melissa backed away. "No! I won't have you messing around in my head!"

"As you wish. However, verbal communication will take longer."

"Let me speak to her so we can get this over with."

Sokaris closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. His eyes opened again.

"I am here, Tal'thia."

"My name is Melissa."

"As you wish."

Melissa watched Sokaris, looking for any sign this was some elaborate scam. She almost laughed. If it was a scam, he probably believed in it wholeheartedly.

"You have questions?" The voice seemed to take on more of a female tone.

"Just one," Melissa began, doing her best to fight back the tears which had built up over a lifetime. But she was not about to give either her mother or Sokaris the sight of her breaking down. "Did you ever once think of me? Did you for even a second comprehend what it would mean to me through my life to know that my mother had abandoned me?"

"Your life was my primary motivation. Unfortunately, I had not realized how stubborn your father would be where your upbringing was concerned."

"Don't you dare blame this on Dad!"

"He refused to allow you to be raised on Vulcan."

"We were living on Izar at the time, weren't we?!"

"I had obligations which required I be on Vulcan. I urged him to compromise, but he refused."

"He didn't want me turned into some soulless creep."

"You are Vulcan. In the past five minutes, the passions of your blood have shown themselves quite strongly. I would have taught you to control them."

"I'm human!"

Sokaris paused to look at her a moment. "Obviously you have not observed yourself in a mirror during your life."

She was about to scream, but instead laughed when she realized what her mother had said. "You're making a joke?!"

"Being married to John Vargas gave me an appreciation for humor. It was only upon accepting my katra that Sokaris discovered I had spent at least one hour each week reading or watching human comedy. I found it gave me the ability to understand things logic could never teach."

"Don't think that gives us anything in common."

"We have far more than you know."

The moment had passed, and Melissa's anger returned. "You abandoned your daughter. You can't imagine the pain that caused me. If there was justice in this universe, you'd end up in the human version of hell."

"And what of the pain you caused Mei-Wan Lau?"

It took several seconds for the words to register in Melissa's mind. "How the hell do you know about Mei? And what does that have to do with us?!"

"Should you suffer in hell for what you did to her?"

"This is completely different! Mei wasn't my daughter."

"She was your friend, wasn't she?"

"I needed you! You were never there for me like every other mother..." The childhood memories came back, and with them the tears. "I was the pointy-eared girl without a mom! There was no one in my life who looked like me!" She felt her legs giving way, but summoned extra will to continue standing. "Why couldn't you love me?!"

Sokaris took a breath and looked down.

"I was Vulcan. I had no love to give."

"That's not an excuse, damn it!"

"I ask you to attempt to understand me. If you can, we might..."

"Me understand you?! Are you insane? Have you heard even one word I've said?!" Melissa couldn't believe this. Her tears stopped. Now a rage she hadn't thought she was capable of began to surface.

And horrible thoughts with it.

If I kill him, I'll kill her katra. She'll be gone forever, and... NO!

Melissa started toward the door. She had to get out of this place before she did something she never imagined possible. "Go to Hell, T'Lil!"

"Melissa... I am sorry."

Melissa stopped, not believing what she heard. She turned back. "What did you say?"

"That was why I asked John to convince you to come here. In the last months of my life, I realized what I had denied you."

Melissa could see Sokaris wasn't at all comfortable saying these things. But she also could see in his eyes the truth of what was being spoken.

"The greatest failure of my life was not going against everything I believed, everything I had been taught, so that I might be there for you." Sokaris paused, apparently having lost the inner battle between himself and the katra of T'Lil. "You see, I shall spend a near eternity in hell. Sealed away in a katric ark in the Hall of Ancient Thought atop Mount Seleya I will face my failure with you forever. So you shall have the justice you spoke of."

"But..." Melissa couldn't believe she actually felt compassion for this woman who she'd spent a lifetime learning to hate. "I don't want that."

Sokaris placed his hand on her cheek and smiled. "I was wrong not to realize the uniqueness John Vargas and I brought into this universe. In that sense I am glad he fought me so strongly concerning your upbringing. You can openly love. That is something I envy."

Melissa threw her arms around the man carrying her mother's spirit.

"While I was alive I could never say this to you, but now that I am free of my body and the requirements of my life... I love you, Melissa. I always have."

"Mom..."

For the first time in her life, Melissa Vargas felt whole. The hurt and anger weren't gone, but something new now grew in the dark pit where they'd always been, pushing them aside, and letting in a light she never imagined.

She smiled and didn't fight the tears.

***

As the afternoon sun began to sink below Yed Post IV's horizon, Melissa sat in her and Jack's hotel room. She'd been through a lot this day, and more than anything right now, she wanted to stare at the wall for a while.

Jack walked in the front door and sat down on the floor next to Melissa's chair.

"How long you been back?" he asked.

"About ten minutes."

"Are you... you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Jack watched her. "You sure?"

"More sure than I have been in a long time." She finally turned to look at him. "Dad tell you about where I went?"

"After an hour of him stalling. I think he wanted to make sure I didn't go pull you out of the Vulcan embassy."

"I'm glad you didn't."

He sat silently. Melissa knew he was worried.

"Really, Jack. I'm okay." She gave him a gentle kiss. "What was your message from Starfleet?"

"Unless some miracle occurs in the next four days, the Oceana class will be decommissioned."

Melissa sat up in her chair. "What about us?"

"Well, we've still got about two months of leave available."

She grinned. "Okay, I can tell you've got something in mind."

"I was thinking we might go to Earth and throw a little party. Some close friends, a few family members... I think it's called a wedding."

Melissa smiled and pulled Jack to her. She leaned forward to kiss him, but stopped a moment. "Can we take a small detour first?"

He thought a moment. "Where do you want to go?"

"Vulcan."

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Dark Horizon Story and Characters Copyright ©2008 Michael Gray

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