"Winter Solstice"

by

Michael Gray

-----

Snow fell in a soft chorus all around them, whispering a requiem for the slain they placed into the frozen ground this day. He would join the slumbering life awaiting the spring to rise again.

But for Jeremiah McCall, there would be no spring, no third day with its stone rolled away, or the rejoicing of angels.

The shadow of his life faded, replaced by the memories of those who lived on, placing him for a time upon a pedestal he had not earned. A perfect monument, never changing, never breathing, but necessary for those whose lives he touched.

Melissa's hand gripped Jack's as the minister droned on.

Who is this guy, anyway? Jack asked himself. Dad never stepped into a church a day in his life. Where do these people come from?

But he remained silent. Obviously this was arranged by his mother, Katherine, but he found it hard to believe she'd invited this stranger to officiate his father's funeral.

Jack glanced behind him. Maybe it was them.

A who's who of Starfleet's Admiralty sat in the dozens of rows behind the family, along with a collection of Federation ambassadors and others Jack didn't recognize.

Jack and Melissa had barely had time to make it for this service. Fortunately, they'd been on Vulcan when the message came through that Jeremiah's body had been recovered and returned to Earth. They'd caught the next flight to Earth, and arrived only six hours earlier.

Jack still hadn't adjusted to the time and climate changes.

His gaze returned to the casket in front of the first row.

Dad would have hated this, he thought. But it certainly fit the pattern for all the other Starfleet funerals he had attended.

Had to be them.

For Jack, this was an unnecessary coda to the relationship with his father. He'd grieved his father's death months ago. Jack had been there.

How Starfleet had found Jeremiah's body he didn't know, but he was glad for his mother at least. In the few minutes he had a chance to talk to her before the service, she appeared calmed by this final duty to her husband. She'd lived with uncertainty for more than a year, and now that his body was about to rest for the last time, Katherine seemed ready to accept what she'd feared for so long.

Jack noticed the trees and hills surrounding the Chicago cemetery, remembering he and his dad had come here once on a day very much like this. He must have been only five, maybe six.

Jeremiah had promised when he had leave that they'd go sledding if there was snow on the ground. Looking back, Jack realized his father had been through some incident, something which had shaken his soul. He could probably find out what it was if he'd wanted to now. A search through Starfleet's records would...

No point in that.

Jack had pestered him from the moment he'd walked in the door. Finally Jeremiah had relented and here they'd come. The excitement of coming down those hills had been the greatest joy Jack could imagine at that age.

But on one journey downward, Jack had slid too close to one of the graves, nearly hitting a headstone. Jeremiah had given him a stern lecture.

"Respect them. These are the people whose shoulders you stand upon."

"But Dad, I never knew them."

"They made your world possible. Do you think all this just sprang into being the day you were born? Men and women built it. They fought for it. Some died for it."

"Can you tell me about them?"

"No, son. Their stories died with them, never to be told. Sometimes its better that way. Some stories would undo the good they did."

"I don't understand. Why can't you..."

"Let's go back up the hill."

And that had been the last they'd talked about it.

Now Jack wished he could know the stories about his father which would never be told.

Maybe he would check the Starfleet database after all.

Melissa tugged at Jack's arm. He noticed everyone else standing. He turned to help his mother.

Jeremiah's casket sank into the ground as a lone trumpet mourned the fallen admiral with a rendition of taps, echoing across the nearby hills.

Katherine turned to look into her son's eyes. She smiled. "I'm glad you made it for this, Jack."

"Me too."

The next half hour was a blur of greeting those who crowded around Jack and his mother to give their condolences. Some related tales of his father, others praised his accomplishments and how he would be missed.

After the tenth person, Jack only half listened. He was glad to have Melissa at his side. Given the recent loss of her mother, and the reconciliation they'd had, she added a serenity to this moment in his life he hadn't expected.

Life would go on.

As the crowd began to dwindle, the snow fell a little heavier than before. In the distance, Jack saw a woman leaning against a tree. Shorter than average, he almost thought her a child, but if she was, womanhood wasn't too far off.

For a fleeting moment through the ever increasing snowfall, Jack almost thought it was Mei-Wan, but quickly dismissed that. She was supposed to be half a galaxy away. Besides, this person wasn't tall enough, and the facial features weren't right.

An ambassador sought his attention for several seconds before he could glance at the woman again.

This time, he got a clear look at her.

Ahwi Dasari!

Jack started forward, all else melted from his mind.

But Melissa caught him. "What's wrong?"

"Over there, look..."

But she was gone.

"Over where? Jack, what's gotten into you?"

He took a deep breath and relaxed, clearing his mind. "Sorry, must be seeing things."

What the hell would Dasari be here for anyway? Nothing of galactic import was transpiring here. There was nothing here for her to meddle in.

Admiral James walked up and took Jack's hand. "How you holding up?"

"Okay, sir. I'm fine."

James nodded. "You take all the time you need. There'll be a ship waiting for you."

"Thank you, sir." Jack hesitated before going on. "Any word on the Chamberlain?"

James waved him aside. "I'm holding off the Council the best I can, but unless Kristy... uh, Commander Bishop comes up with a miracle and fast, the Oceana class will be mothballed indefinitely."

"How much longer does she have?"

"I think I can buy her another month, maybe month and a half."

James started to leave, but stopped. He motioned to Melissa to join them. "Commander, if you want it, I've got an XO slot waiting for you aboard the Tigris. It's a Nova class."

Melissa looked upset. "Admiral, I had requested the executive officer's position aboard the Chamberlain."

"And Admiral Olanski has told me in so many words, 'over her dead body.' I tried going around her, but she's threatened to examine the personal relationships of all captains in the fleet if I push it."

"What does this matter to her?"

"She and Kyle Hoffman are practically family, and she's not been happy with the personnel reports being submitted about him by either Jack or Wilmarza. And now given what happened to your ship's counselor..."

"What are my options?" Melissa asked.

"I can keep you on as Jack's Ops Officer wherever he goes, or you can take XO on the Tigris."

James shook Jack's hand again. "Sorry I can't do more."

Jack and Melissa stood alone as James walked away.

"God damn Hoffman," Melissa said under her breath. "Remind me to space him the first chance I get."

"I think you'll have to stand in a very long line for that," Jack said.

They joined Jack's mother as the last of the crowd left.

"Is everything okay?" Katherine asked.

"Just the usual Starfleet..."

"I really don't want to know," she said, interrupting. "Get out before it destroys whatever happiness you have, Jack. For both of you."

***

Jack McCall walked through the woods surrounding his mother's house, wrapped in a winter coat he hadn't worn or needed in nearly a decade. The afternoon sun peeked through the bare branches of the trees, allowing just enough warmth to reach his face to take the edge off the bite of the below freezing air. His stroll amongst the now bare, silent sentinels of his childhood brought back memories both happy and sad.

I wish I could come back here and stay, he thought. But he frowned. Why were those days so seemingly carefree and now his life was anything but?

After nearly an hour, he'd followed the path back to the porch. He stopped and leaned forward against the wooden railing, letting his mind get lost watching the lazy snow fall.

"How you doing, Jack?"

It was Alan Nevins, one of the teachers at the school Jack's mother taught at. They'd been friends since Jack was a boy.

"Best that can be expected, I guess."

The tall, gray-haired Nevins took a place next to Jack on the porch. "It was a nice service today."

"Yeah."

"You here long?"

"Don't really know," Jack said with a grin. "Starfleet hasn't made up its mind about my ship yet."

"You'll get it back. That's one thing I've learned about your family. It's not a good thing to get between a captain named McCall and his ship."

Jack wasn't sure how to take that. There was a harsh tone in Nevins voice he didn't like.

Now I'm hearing things too. Am I looking to get into a fight with someone?

"Your mother inside?"

Jack nodded.

As Nevins went in, Melissa walked out, wearing a heavy coat herself.

"Where'd you get that?"

She smiled. "Your mother."

"You look good in it." He pulled her into his arms.

"I like any chance to be out of uniform." She rested in his embrace.

"You and Mom talk?"

"A little."

"And?"

"I like her, but I don't know how she feels about me yet. I get the impression she was very fond of Mei."

"They did hit it off quickly. I was always bothered by that for some reason."

"Mei's good at making friends. That's why she and I..." Melissa left her words to hang in the cool air. "Anyway, I figure we'll get used to each other eventually."

"I was thinking..." Jack said as he turned her to face him. "How does two weeks from today sound?"

"Two weeks?"

"Our wedding."

She smiled. "I thought maybe you'd want to wait considering."

"I'm tired of waiting. Besides, if we get married in two weeks, that'll give us another two weeks before Starfleet makes up its mind."

"Where are we going?"

He pulled her closer. "There's an island out in the South Pacific that's cut off from the rest of the universe. No comms, no subspace, not even smoke signals."

"How do they survive?" she said with a mock frown.

"Lots of sex and alcohol."

She grinned. "It wouldn't hurt if we brought a communicator, just in case would it?"

"Why?"

"Could be news about the ship."

"Sorry. They confiscate all communication devices when you arrive."

"They must really believe in the getting away from it all idea."

"Right about now, so do I."

Their lips touched. But Jack pulled away when he realized something was wrong.

"You're shivering."

"That Vulcan blood of mine doesn't react well to cold."

"Then get back inside. No reason to freeze out here."

"But I wanted to be with you."

"I'll be in soon enough."

She stared at him a moment. "Something going on?"

"I don't know. I saw something today at the funeral. Just thought I'd see if who I thought I saw decides to drop by."

She looked down at his pocket. "Does it have something to do with that chip in your pocket?"

"Chip?"

"Yeah, the one you've been fiddling with every chance you get since we left the Chamberlain."

Jack pulled it out and showed her the one inch square blue wafer with odd text on one side. "No. This is something I have to do for Hank."

"Evans?"

"Sort of a last wish of his."

"That's what the boat trip is about tomorrow?"

"That and a chance for us to have some time alone. I thought we might spend the night on the lake."

Melissa nodded and headed for the door. "Don't stay out here too long."

After the door closed, Jack sat on the railing, watching the sun set behind the trees.

He'd come out here so often in his youth when life had seemed unfair, and his mother for whatever reason couldn't understand. Looking back, Jack now realized his life had been fairer than most people had. Sure, he'd been through a lot the past ten years. But he had love.

What more could someone ask for?

His thoughts were broken when Alan Nevins hurried out the door.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked.

Nevins spun about. "Uh, no... just remembered something I had to take care of. See you later, Jack."

He sped away down the path from the house.

Jack watched him until he disappeared around a bush.

He'd never liked the man that much. Nevins had always hung around too much for Jack's taste. But then he wasn't Jack's friend.

If his mother tolerated him, that was her business.

Jack rested on the railing, hoping he hadn't come out here for no reason. If it had been Dasari he'd seen, she'd eventually stop by. The girl had a knack of butting into his life at the worst of times, and what could be worse than the loss of his father?

He let his eyes drift shut, but kept an ear out for anyone who might approach.

His mind slipped from one thought to another, touching upon the events of the day, his fears for the days to come.

Okay, I'm falling asleep. I better get inside.

But rather than moving, he relaxed even more. Several minutes passed, perhaps even longer.

Jack heard something on the porch. He popped one eye open toward sound.

A small gray rabbit padded across the wood toward a set of pine cones resting in a corner. It sniffed at them, but then moved on, jumping off the porch.

Jack headed inside. He was hungry himself.

In the kitchen, Jack found Melissa and his mother sitting across from one another at the table. Both seemed startled at his entrance. And both appeared nervous even after several seconds had passed.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked.

Melissa walked over to him. "Keep an open mind, Jack. And let her have her say."

"What? What the hell is going on?"

Melissa left mother and son alone in the kitchen.

"Mom?"

Katherine McCall walked over to the sink and started drying a large pan.

"What's going on? Did you and Melissa have an argument?"

Katherine smiled, shaking her head. "No."

Jack stood next to her. "Then what?"

"I had to apologize to Melissa," Katherine said. "She walked in on me and Alan. It's been so long since anyone's been here at the house that I guess..."

"Walked in on you and Alan?" Jack took a step back. "Exactly what does that mean?"

She returned to the pan. "You're not a child, Jack."

Jack's head was spinning. He could feel his heart about to burst. He didn't want to believe what he was hearing.

"You and Alan..."

"We weren't having sex, no. But we were..."

"No," Jack said. "I don't want to know."

"That's fine by me. Can you hand me that bowl?"

But Jack didn't budge. "On the day of Dad's funeral, Mom?!"

"Do you really think I would start a new relationship today?" she said with a shake of her head. "We have been involved for years."

"What?! You've been cheating on Dad all this time?!"

"Cheating? No." She grabbed the bowl Jack had refused to hand her a minute before. "Your father knew."

"I can't believe this," Jack said, falling back onto a nearby stool.

Katherine turned to him. "You of all people have no right to judge me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You were still married to Mei when you and Melissa.. weren't you?"

“That's completely different! We thought Mei was dead."

"How convenient for you both."

Jack felt like leaving his mother to stew in her denial. But he remembered Melissa had asked him to keep an open mind.

About what? This is pretty clear cut. My mother is an unprincipled...

No. He couldn't believe he'd misread her all these years.

Maybe he was the one in denial.

Either way, Jack had more questions than he could rest with.

"Okay," he said, turning back to her. "Why?"

"Starfleet took the life I thought I was going to have, a life with your father. So I had to create one for myself the best I could. What, did you think... that I just sat back here, raising you, and remaining a chaste, suffering fleet-wife?"

"How long has this gone on with Alan?"

"Since you were about eight."

"You said Dad knew."

"Yes."

"Am I supposed to believe he approved?"

"He was furious at first, until I brought up a certain young lieutenant on his ship that I'd heard he'd been..."

"Okay, okay."

She smiled. "You did know your father had been involved with numerous women, didn't you?"

"I knew of a couple, yes."

"And you kept his secret."

"No... it was after I'd graduated the Academy, I couldn't bring myself to tell you. It's why he and I didn't speak for about five years."

"Annette."

"You knew her name?"

Katherine frowned as she put a pot of water on the stove. "I'm not a fool, Jack. I knew what was going on."

"Then I didn't keep anything from you."

"But if you had told me I could have been in the position to defend Jeremiah to you, and explain all this then. You wasted those five years of not talking to him for nothing. For that, I'm sorry."

"Why did I have to be the one to come to you? You were my mother."

"Jeremiah insisted we keep this from you. I thought you'd be able to handle it, but he..."

Jack leaned against the counter. “Why did you stay together? Why not end the marriage?"

Katherine looked out the window and smiled. "Because every time I saw Jeremiah walk down that path, my soul took flight."

"I don't understand."

"I loved him. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Not with what you've done. What he did."

"Do you still love Mei?"

"What the hell does that have to..."

"It's just a question."

"Mei and I aren't married any longer."

"I know that. But do you still love her?"

Jack closed his eyes. He wanted to answer no, but in his heart he knew it would be a lie, and there had been enough of that under this roof.

"Yes," he finally said.

"But you divorced her?"

"Unlike you and Dad, Mei and I could see how things weren't going to work."

"Before today, did you think my and Jeremiah's marriage worked?"

"Yes, but I didn't know..."

"Did your not knowing about this other part of my life keep it from not working?"

"It was a lie."

"We were completely honest with each other at every step."

Jack went to the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of orange juice. For all of his mother's reluctance to enter the 24th century, including her refusal to accept a replicator in her house, she certainly had gone out of her way to adopt a view of marriage Jack found hard to accept.

He filled a glass and stared at it for nearly a minute.

"Say something," Katherine pleaded.

"What am I supposed to say?" Jack asked. "It's a little hard to believe my mother could be like this, could have lived the life you have."

"Being your mother doesn't obligate me to conform myself to that image you carry around of mom in your head. I'm my own person."

"Yet you seem to think it important to have my approval on some level," Jack said, taking a drink. "I don't know if I can ever give you that."

Katherine picked up the salt shaker. “I hadn't planned on telling you this today, if ever. I think Jeremiah was right about that.”

“Was it just sex with Alan?”

Katherine smiled. “You trying to make me fit another pattern you can neatly file away in your mind?”

“Just answer the question, please.”

“At first I guess it was,” she said. “We'd been friends, but your father was away for an exceptionally long time and I was lonely.”

“But there was more.”

“I care about Alan, yes. And I suppose on some level I'd call it love.”

Jack downed his glass of juice. “This wasn't the only choice you had available.”

She set a pan on the stove. "I could have retreated into a holo-suite, but instead I took up a relationship with a flesh and blood human being."

"You had other options."

"You'd be surprised how many Starfleet spouses spend their lives in holo-suites. You've had it easy. First you and Mei, and now Melissa, serve aboard the same ship. For those of us who don't sell our souls to the high priests in San Francisco, we're left behind to create a life on our own. Well, I did that."

“That's bullshit! You knew Dad was a Starfleet officer, and you had to know he'd likely be off world for long stretches at a time.”

Katherine pulled a package wrapped in brown paper out of the refrigerator. “Love sometimes makes us do silly things. You should know that.”

“No... I'm not buying it.”

She spun around to face him. “This doesn't have anything to do with me, does it? This has to do with some image of the long-suffering mother you constructed a long time ago. Get this straight... I'm not that woman. I never was.”

“I guess you weren't a lot of things.”

Jack stormed out of the kitchen. He had no desire to hear any further excuses, and he was afraid the next thing he said would have made certain they'd never speak again.

Jack stood on the porch again, a part of him wanting to scream, another part, the young boy who'd played in the woods beyond, wanted to run off and cry. Retreating into the darkness before him seemed so inviting.

But he wasn't eight any longer. Doing something that...

He held his breath.

Someone is here.

He walked down the steps from the porch. His eyes were finally adjusting to the lack of direct light, and the snow on the ground provided just enough ambience...

There! Beyond the large oak...

“I know you're here. You might as well come out.”

Instead of the petite female figure he'd expected, two men came from the other side of the grand oak tree.

Damn. I almost wished it had been Dasari. But who...

Jack's mind got enough of a look at the face of the lead man to finally recognize him.

“O'Rourke!?”

“Hey, McCall. It's been a while, hasn't it?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jack asked as the two figures made their way toward him.

O'Rourke laughed. “I do make it to Earth on rare occasion... very rare.”

“Well, you can take your sorry self and scamper back to whatever hole you normally hide in and leave me alone. I'm really not in the mood for Starfleet Intel games tonight.”

“Nobody ever is.”

“Go away.”

“Sorry, but I have business that won't wait.” He stopped about ten feet from Jack. “I do apologize for having to come here on the day of your father's funeral. My condolences.”

Jack gave only a nod in response.

“Is there some place we can go?” O'Rourke asked. He was younger than Jack by about a decade, but his eyes were those of someone who'd seen more than his years share of pain and disappointment.

Jack could almost feel sorry for him.

“Not until you tell me what this is about.”

“I'd rather not do that here.”

“Then goodnight,” Jack said. “I'd ask you in, but we don't allow ruthless beasts in the house.”

He turned to go inside.

“I'm here about Hank Evans.”

Jack stopped and slowly faced O'Rourke.

The incident on the Vander and the resulting fallout with Fariha had encased Jack's dislike for O'Rourke in a block of pure neutronium. But even before then, he hadn't liked him. And for reasons Jack didn't want to admit to himself.

O'Rourke was too damn dashing and debonair, both in appearance and disposition. One of those men who had been told from birth he was destined for greatness and...

Jack laughed.

After the conversation with his mother, perhaps it wasn't a good idea to judge anyone by their genetics or family background.

I'll give him a break... this time.

He turned back to O'Rourke. “Okay, what about Hank? I assume you're still with Starfleet Intelligence and that's why you're here.”

“Somebody has to keep the galaxy safe for the high-minded,” O'Rourke said with a sneer.

“From the likes of you.”

“What we do allows the people of this planet and others throughout the Federation to sleep at night.”

“What you do is not what the Federation was supposed to be about,” Jack said, leaning against the porch railing.

“People like me make it possible for your utopian idealism to flourish.”

Jack let out a long sigh. “You said you were here about Hank.”

O'Rourke's face softened a bit. “Yes. I need access to his quarters on the Chamberlain.”

Jack's hand rubbed the chip in his coat pocket. “What for?”

O'Rourke turned to the man with him. “Lawseth, search the woods again to make sure we're not being monitored.”

Several years younger than O'Rourke, Lawseth turned and walked off with the precision of an automaton to fulfill his task.

“During the war,” O'Rourke began, “I was Hank's contact with S.I. We developed a good working relationship, and as much as one can in this business, we became friends.”

“I didn't know that was allowed,” Jack said with a smirk.

“Actually it isn't, but Evans was someone I respected. Besides, he brought me information and technology no one else was bringing in.”

“So it was more about what he could do than any real friendship.”

“That's part of the life.” He walked up to the porch steps. “As you know, Hank was an incredibly resourceful guy, always planning for every eventuality.”

“You mean he was paranoid,” Jack said. Then he laughed. “But look who I'm talking to.”

“In my line of work, you do what you can, but of course, there are some things such as death you can only avoid for so long.” He paused to smile. “But Hank found a way to avoid it completely.”

“In case you haven't heard, he died.”

“I know, but he did have a plan. Did you receive a message from him upon his death being certified?”

Jack knew he had to be careful at this point. “Yes, but I couldn't make sense of it.”

O'Rourke nodded. “Hank had made a recording of his mind and his genetic structure.”

“And how did he accomplish this miracle?”

“Seems he knew someone in the Zeldov system who specializes in such things.”

Jack did remember a conversation with Hank a long time ago about that system. But the details weren't something he could recall.

“He had left me instructions that if he were killed, to take that recording back to the Zeldov system where he would... resurrect from the dead.”

Now Jack remembered. The G'voda machine with Mei-Wan's personality... Hank had suggested something similar to bring her back. His opinion was the same now as then:

“This is insane! Do you know how many ethical violations, how... how this violates simple decency?!”

O'Rourke didn't appear concerned. “It was his wish that I take the recording and bring him back to life. With his contacts, the information he has, a new Hank Evans could make the difference between life and death for the Federation someday.”

“It isn't right.”

“If this were your father we were talking about, would it be different?”

Despite expecting O'Rourke to pull that weapon out of his quiver, it still stung Jack in all the wrong ways.

“It would be different,” Jack said. “But I still wouldn't do it. The new copy would never be my dad. He'd be some... monster.”

“Don't worry, the new Hank won't go back to Starfleet. He'd be our monster.”

But something didn't make sense to Jack. “Why are you here asking me? Why not just break into the Chamberlain and take the recording?”

“The Oceana class starships have always enjoyed an extra layer of security. I had hoped to avoid any unnecessary questions by coming to the ship's CO.”

Jack smiled. “Now how about the real reason?”

O'Rourke chuckled. “He was right to trust you.”

“Me?”

“In Hank's instructions to me, he told me he wanted the final decision left to you. He knew his judgment wasn't always on the highest plane, so he wanted someone he respected, who did think of the implications and the ethics to make the final call.”

That did surprise Jack. Given the arguments he and Hank had gone through, especially during the last months of Hank's life, he would have never guessed Hank would have done this.

Maybe his old friend hadn't been lacking a conscience after all.

“I think you know what my decision is.”

“I know what it is now,” O'Rourke said. “But I'd like you to take some time and reconsider that choice. Think of everything Hank Evans could do for the Federation, of the technology he could bring to us.”

Jack couldn't dismiss that out of hand. O'Rourke was right about what Hank could still do.

And there was a part of Jack that wanted to have the counsel of his old friend.

God I miss him.

But...

“No,” Jack said. “This isn't one you think about. You have to trust your gut, and mine says no.”

Lawseth returned to stand next to O'Rourke without saying a word.

“I'll be leaving Earth in the morning,” O'Rourke said. “If you do change your mind, I'll be at the...”

“I won't be changing my decision.”

O'Rourke took a deep breath. “Very well. Goodbye, McCall.”

“You do know I'll contact Starfleet to have all of Hank's belongings immediately impounded and destroyed.”

O'Rourke smiled. “You think me more devious than I am. I said I respected Hank, and in this case, he wanted you to make the choice. I may not like it, but I'll abide by it. I just hope you don't live to regret it.”

O'Rourke and Lawseth disappeared back into the darkness they had crept out of, leaving Jack alone with his conscience.

“So, do I,” Jack said. “So do I.”

***

The sun hung bright in the sky over Lake Michigan, giving the impression the air was far warmer than it was. On the upper deck of the Tilion, the bitter cold was made all the more intolerable for Jack and Melissa by the speed of the boat cutting across the water.

“You know, I have to be up here to steer the boat, you can go back down in the cabin where it's warm.”

Melissa looked into his eyes. “And let you sink further into the depression you're working on? No way... Captain, sir.”

He smiled.

“Incredible,” she said. “The man can still smile.”

“I must not be nearly as depressed as you think.”

“I know you better than that,” Melissa said, putting her arm around him. “You're hurting.”

“Just another disappointment to add to the pile,” he murmured.

“Is that how you view life? Is it just a series of disappointments for you?”

“No,” he said with a sigh. “Not usually.”

He brought the speed of the boat down gradually.

“But this is different,” Jack said. “This is my mother.”

Melissa released him and took a step back. “Do you love your mother?”

“Of course, but...”

“Then you're going to have to focus on that. In the end, I realized buried deep, I still had an ember of love for my mother. That allowed me to listen.”

“But my mother isn't apologetic,” Jack said. “She's anything but.”

“Has what she's done affected you?”

“It...”

“Outside of your view of her?”

Jack knew where Melissa was going. “Not directly, but...”

"Jack, don't throw away the last years you have with your mother because of the way she lived her life," Melissa said.

“I can't just pretend this didn't happen."

"I'm not saying you should. Just don't stop talking to her."

"After this, I don't know if we have anything left to talk about."

"Sure you do. But you won't see it until you've had some time to deal with this new information."

"I don't know who she is anymore."

"Maybe you never did. I know I didn't know who my mother was. All I knew was my anger."

"What she did was wrong," Jack said, bringing the boat to a stop.

"She and your father arrived at a way for their relationship to operate. It wasn't perfect. I certainly wouldn't have made the same choice."

"That's good to know."

She smiled. "But you and I are going to be together."

Jack nodded, returning to thoughts of his mother. "I always thought my mom was the greatest person in the world."

"I envy you for that."

"You shouldn't! It was all a lie!"

"Was it? Wasn't she there for you? Didn't she care for you all those years?"

"That doesn't change the fact she had a relationship with another man for thirty years."

"And if she had divorced your father? What then? Would you have blamed her for that?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Jack let the wind howl past his face for nearly a full minute. “I don't see how I can be around her without implicitly condoning what she did.”

“And your father? He was a willing participant in this arrangement.”

“He's dead.”

“Maybe he's the one you really have the problem with. You knew about his extramarital activities.”

“I should have put a stop to that,” Jack mumbled.

“Well, he's gone now,” Melissa said. “You have to let your mother live her life.”

“As long as I don't have to be around her.”

Melissa's eyes narrowed. “She will be at our wedding.”

“The hell she will! Not after...”

“If she isn't, I won't be there either,” Melissa said with the sternest look he'd ever seen on her face.

“Come on, Melissa. You can't be serious!”

“If I can invite my mother's second husband, you can tolerate your mother being there.”

Jack grumbled.

“And Alan too.”

“Now just a damn minute...”

“This isn't negotiable, Jack.”

He had the sense he was going to lose this argument, but he at least wanted to know the reason.

“Why are you doing this?”

Melissa's face softened, and she took his hands in hers. “I love you. I'm saving you from a decision I'm sure you'll one day regret.”

Jack nodded as her comment reminded her of the primary reason he wanted to come all the way out here.

“Seems a lot of people think I need saving from that,” Jack said as he reached down for the tool drawer to the right of the boat's controls.

He pulled out a rubber mallet, then reached into his coat pocket. He set the multicolored chip on the metal railing running along the side of the boat.

“What are you doing?” Melissa asked.

Jack brought the mallet down with all his might onto the chip, shattering it into thousands of pieces. He set the mallet down, and swept the pieces over the side with a wave of his hand.

The remains of the chip floated like snowflakes to finally rest in Lake Michigan.

“Goodbye, old friend,” he whispered.

“What did you just do?” Melissa asked.

Jack smiled and took her in his arms. “Something I'll never regret.”

***

O'Rourke stood at the far end of the waiting area, doing his best to appear like a normal traveler, but he'd been made already by an agent for Temporal Investigations and a covert operative for the Romulan Tal'Shiar.

The surgical conversion on the latter looked especially good, but the way he scratched his ear made it obvious he'd spent his life with pointed ears.

He suspected there was probably a Klingon agent somewhere wandering about, as well as an Orion. But it could be they were following Lawseth, trying to get information on the tickets he was buying for them.

He chuckled.

Damn, these guys must hate being assigned here. I know I would.

But he also knew there were a lot worse jobs than watching the comings and goings at the Daley Spaceport. He'd done them.

O'Rourke contented himself to wait, watching the spaceliners out the window taxiing back and forth.

Lawseth finally returned.

“I've got us on the 0950 flight.”

“That's nine-fifty,” O'Rourke corrected his trainee. “Do try to fit in.”

“Oh... right.” He handed O'Rourke his ticket. “We should be at the gate at oh... at nine-thirty.”

“Better.”

They walked down the concourse.

“So what do we do now?” Lawseth asked.

“We wait for our next assignment.”

“But what about Evans' recording? Aren't we going to Chamberlain to get it?”

“It's not there.”
Lawseth's eyes expanded like balloons. “Not there? Then where is it?”

“McCall has it.”

Lawseth seemed near exploding, causing O'Rourke to grin. He had so enjoyed shattering Lawseth's preconceptions like that these last five months.

“Then why the hell are we leaving?! Let's go back and take it!”

“I'm sure McCall has destroyed it by now.”

“Damn it, O'Rourke! Why didn't we take it last night?!”

“Calm yourself,” O'Rourke said, glancing about without being too obvious. “You'll attract the wrong kind of attention.”

Lawseth regained his composure. “Why did we go through all of this?”

“To get the recording so we could bring Evans back.”

“Then why are we leaving without it?”

“Because for whatever reason, Hank Evans wanted this choice left to Jack McCall.”

Lawseth laughed. “And here I thought that was just a line of bullshit you were using to get McCall to see things your way.”

“The truth can often be the best method, especially with a man like McCall. He likes to be in control. I wanted him to believe he was.”

“Seems it was more than just his belief,” Lawseth said.

“No. Evans was in control. This is the way he wanted it.”

“And what about our superiors. They're not going to be happy about this.”

“They'll get over it,” O'Rourke said. “I always keep a promise to a friend. You remember that.”

Lawseth smiled. “I consider you a friend too.”

“We're nothing of the kind,” O'Rourke said with a laugh. “That's why you should remember it.”

O'Rourke walked to their gate, glad he'd at least accomplished one goal for this mission.

* * *

Dark Horizon Story and Characters Copyright ©2008 Michael Gray

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